How was your life like before you met LiveJam in school?
I was introduced to Porn when I was in class 7 in school. I was unable to focus on my studies as the images kept playing in my head. I felt my heart cringe and get drawn to the lust of the flesh. It further affected my relationship with my parents. The growing frustration in my heart triggered anger and a rebellious nature in me. I would respond rudely to my parents, and eventually began to believe the lie that my dad hated me.
What feelings did you encounter during the healing process?
I was struggling internally because I knew I was wrong. The shame associated with watching and indulging in lewd acts when I was alone, haunted me. I’d often fall after being optimistic of having overcome it. To make matters worse, I was rebelling against parents. Often displaying anger that made me feel sorry for my mother later. I always thought my dad hated me because off his constant correction. The frustration would drive me back into sin again. I was changing, but the struggle was real. I started to understand how to deal with my feelings better.